I've had several email interactions with people at work the last couple of days. In one case, I asked for something fairly simple - just send me information that you should already have. In the other case, I asked for a rough time estimate for a possible project - didn't even ask for work, just a rough estimate. In the first case, one person gave me a half-baked answer, and when I asked for clarification (again, info that should already exist), I was told they were so busy I had to wait until late this week. In the second case, I got my estimate, but the person made sure that I knew preemptively that he was "swamped", lest I dare ask him to actually do the work.
[NOTE TO READERS: Throughout this post, I will be exaggerating for effect. I'm not going to tell you when. I'm doing it to make a point, and since it's my blog, I will do whatever I need to in order to make my point. You'll just have to figure things out yourself] [Sorry. Hope that's OK]
I reflected on the times that certain people and I have had a disagreement about the proper level of busy-ness (and yes, I know that looks weird and spell-check is complaining, but I want to differentiate between business and busy-ness). This other party, who shall remain nameless, but we shall refer to as "wife", likes to be busy. She likes her kids to be busy. She especially likes me to be busy. Strangely enough, many of the things with which she would like me to be busy are also in her best interest.
I pause at this moment to state that I am not opposed to doing things in my wife's best interest. Happy wife = happier me than if unhappy wife.
But in general, I would contend that this is a societal issue. Maybe not one of the great ones, maybe not one with which we should bother our elected officials or clergy, but I still find it widespread. For example - how many times do you hear around the office:
"I'm fighting fires all day"
"I don't have time to breathe"
"I'm up to my armpits in alligators" (OK, actually with this one it's not really 'armpits', but I feel obliged to keep my standards here)
Another quiz - how many of you have the big calendars with every square inch of space covered in appointments, kids' activities, task reminders, chore assignments, dog walking schedule, etc. etc. etc. etc. (Isn't the the extra 'etcetera' a nice touch for emphasis? Thank you.).
If it wasn't for Sunday, I think many of us (especially LDS) would busy ourselves to death. But even then, we figure, "hey, it's a day of rest, but that means rest from our NORMAL labors. I now have time to (a) go to church for 3 hours; (b) do my home / visiting teaching; (c) visit the sick; (d) make a huge dinner for the entire family, because it's the only time we get to sit down together all week; (e) work on Duty to God / Personal Progress / Faith in God with my child; (f) write in my journal; (g) read scriptures as a family, 'cause we kind of missed that in the middle of the week, too; (h) finish homework (for the kids); (i) do my calling as Bishop / RS President / EQ President / HP Group Leader / Compassionate service coordinator; and (j) go on splits with the missionaries". Wheeeee.
And it's not just the busy-ness that gets me. It's the apparent pride we take in it. AND, the disdain we show for others whose busy levels do not match our imagined level or our expectations. If someone asks you how you're doing at work, if you say, "well, I have things to do, but I'm going at a reasonable pace", you will be looked upon as a the leper employee. Worse yet, if your boss gets whiff of it, you can expect more assignments to be thrown your way. You just said you have things to do, and that you are going at a pace with which you feel comfortable and can maintain - you never said you weren't productive or not getting things done or even looking for more to do. Nope - I've got to claim I am the busiest person on earth, that I'm stretched too thin, that I have to work my touchie off or something horrible might happen - the company will go out of business, people will be laid off, everyone will fall into drink and homelessness, death and destruction awaits, etc.
If someone at church asks us how we're doing, if we don't say, "ohhhhhh - life is just crazy right now", and launch into a soliloquy of all our activities and our kids' activities, we are considered but dross and good for nothing but to be cast out and trodden under foot of men. Nope- it's expected to claim that you are going nuts, and that your life is out of control (people actually say just that, with a straight face, like it's the best thing that ever happened to them. Honest - I've heard it). But - people probably ask that, because they expect that answer, and want it, so that they can then launch into a discourse of how busy they are.
I don't have solutions here. But - I am going to 'out' myself (before you get all giggly, remember this is a family-oriented site). I like sitting on my butt from time to time. I actually enjoy vegging out and clearing my mind, even watching entertainment that has no real value other than to distract me for some time. I like having time to read a book for hours on end. I like going to a movie spontaneously because my evening wasn't previously committed. I like grabbing my kid or kids and running down to DQ for a treat. DO YOU HEAR ME WORLD? I DON'T LIKE BEING BUSY ALL THE TIME! AND I'M OK WITH THAT!
Lest anyone wants to throw out the 'L' word - let me tell you that I average between 45-50 hours a week at work. Yeah, I know - lots of people are doing lots more. But - my company is getting 12.5% to 25% more out of me than they are paying for. I also do 4-6 hours of service on Saturdays, along with home chores and maintenance. I do dishes when it's my turn and sometimes even when it is not. I help clean up the table after dinner and even do some pre-washing of dishes and help load the dishwasher. I also spend lots of energy trying to get kids to do things they're supposed to. So let's just back off the whole 'lazy' pejorative, shall we? It's true I'm not as busy as my wife. It's true I'm not as busy as my bishop. I'm also not claiming I'm totally comfortable with myself and the way I am.
But - if we're going to be such a tolerant society, one that opens its arms to all sorts of moral relativism, weird behavior, 10 years of "Survivor", Celine Dion, movies that can't find an original plot to save themselves, Democrats, Republicans, and pineapple on pizza - can't we find it in our collective hearts to cut people who don't worship "busy-ness" a little slack?
Assuming you can find the time to do so...
